On Ego
A meditative contemplation on the unconquerable nature of ego and the value of a daily practice.
Ego isn’t a Thing or a Personality.
It is an innate compulsion, a gravity that persistently asserts itself, effortlessly and ceaselessly.
There is no evil agency, even though the System of experience feels decidedly insidious. The way water, through properties of indelible physics, seeps into every available space and crevice which happens to exist below its current waterline, without intelligence, understanding or motive.
Ego is not a thing which can therefore be destroyed. Ego is pervasive to and inherent in the Whole, the system and cycle of life and experience, and that, at every level of conscious awareness.
In the way gravity is inherent to space-time and mass, where life exists, ego exists.
It is a fools’ errand trying to kill or conquer Ego. When a mountain climber claims to have conquered a mountain, the mountain remains. When the climber descends, and descend they must, they would have to conquer the mountain anew.
How then does the aspirant Hermetist overcome the unconquerable?
Playing with the analogy of the Mountain.
The analogy of the mountain remains useful:
How do we dwell in the lofty place, in sight of the summit, away from cliffs and precipices, how do we navigate in the unsteady uneven terrain, how do we, as natives of the temperate valley, not have to conquer the mountain anew every time?
While not precise, there is some reliable logic at work, which is, the pyramid shape of the mountain, in theory at least, has less area or mass left to conquer, the higher the starting position.
Playing with the analogy, building a dwelling, leaving caches, hooks, ropes and ladders strategically, having the right equipment, the right level of conditioning and preparation, deliberately and regularly maintaining these.
This is how I have come to view the problem of Ego, and the value of a Daily Practice.
Becoming acclimatised to the conditions up the mountain, above the valley floor, including in my daily practice the building, preparation and regular maintenance of my fear, my fitness, awareness of new orders of risks and dangers, the solitude, the trade-off between how far I can see but how unclear it can seem. Perhaps worst, the risk of false-confidence and the pursuit of false summits. These should be the purview of a Daily Practice, and mindfulness in general.
The inexorable and implacable gravity of Ego.
To add to the idea of the inexorable immensity of the force of ego, the will to receive; consider this: Mountains rarely exist alone, but in ranges. Conquer one summit, and another awaits. Consider the naivety of assuming some level of achievement at the ascent of one peak in the face of endless others.
Some peaks can be negotiated by finding paths and passes, some because others have come before us and prepared a way, others must be climbed and known. Even if we could master one mountain, no man can master all.
We do however, need to eventually transcend the pervasive effect Ego. The lower rungs of such an effort can only be achieved by submission to the inevitable truth that, as humans, we cannot transcend our Ego without Nous.